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by Tobbee



Series: Spidey One-Shots with his Family [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Child Neglect, Dark May Parker (Spider-Man), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Neglect, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24842509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobbee/pseuds/Tobbee
Summary: Peter realizing that May doesn't mean home anymore. But the Avengers do
Series: Spidey One-Shots with his Family [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759855
Comments: 14
Kudos: 346





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooooooh Boy! Some horribly written angst! Enjoy!

Home

Peter has come to the sinking realization that he doesn't associate home with May, he hasn’t for a long time. But instead with the Avengers.

May has not felt like home for five years, when Ben was shot on the job. May took his death hard and just isolated herself in her room. She slowly started drinking and ignoring Peter, when Peter tried asking her for help with something she would reply with

‘I will help you later Peter’

She never did

In two years May started completely ignoring Peter. Not replying when Peter talked to her, not talking to him and just ignoring his existence. Peter learned to not ask her for something as she would not help. She only pays the bills and that’s it, Peter has to cook and clean for himself.

It became Peter normal

The Avengers are some of they only people he can talk to about Spider-Man. Besides Ned and MJ of course, it just gets boring after a while when you are constantly Hero-Worshipped and called a dumbass So its nice. He talks to the Avengers because they can relate, praise, laugh and give constructive criticism at his stories.

The apartment has never had that homey feeling, it hasn’t since Bens death. Peter gets a eerie feeling every time he steps inside.

But the compound? It has that feeling that Peter has been craving for So long.

Comfort

The compound is lively and there's banter, unlike his apartment that dead and silent. His apartment doesn't smell like cinnamon and antiseptic anymore, it smells like alcohol and antiseptic so strong you can feel the loneliness and grief. Peter just wants to puke when he walks in because of the smell.

The compound is a mix of pleasant smells that radiate comfort and love. Peter just about wanted to break down on the spot when he stepped into the compound because it doesn’t smell like his apartment

Peter stays as much as he can out of the apartment. Whether him being at cafés, libraries, school or just walking around he stays out. It’s one of the reasons he accepted the internship.

The Avengers faces old kindness and fondness. On the other hand Mays face old a permanent scowl and grief. Every time May see’s Peter she glares and scowls at Peter as if to say ‘How dare you exist in my apartment’

Peter is positive that May would have kicked him out already if not for child abandonment laws.

Peter hasn’t heard May say goodnight in years. But the Avengers do, ether through text, phone calls or in person when he stays over. The first time they said goodnight to Peter he tensed, when he went to his room and closed his door he flopped into his bed and sobbed.

May doesn’t feel like family anymore, they feel like strangers. They don’t interact or even look at each other. They don’t laugh, cry, comfort, joke or say ‘I larb you’ to each other. Their emotional connection has been cut.

They Avengers do feel like family though.

The first time Tony ruffled Peters hair he went rigged because May hasn’t done that in such a long time.

Everyone someone mentions their parent his mind doesn’t wonder to his blood parents, may they rest. Nor Ben nor May, Peter will never think of May as a Parent. No, he thinks of Pepper and Tony.

He has caught himself multiple times almost calling Tony ‘Dad’ and Pepper ‘Mom’. He has stopped himself calling the female Avengers ‘Aunt’ and the male Avengers ‘Uncle. Peter has to has to physically stop himself saying that Wanda and Morgan are his sisters and that Vision, Harley and Pietro are his brothers. He thinks of the Barton kids, Shuri and Groot as his cousins.

They even told him that they love him several times.

‘It isn’t blood that makes family, its love’

He would have never believed it would he have not in that exact situation

He doesn’t love May anymore.

Peter was in his dark and silent room, sitting on the edge of his messy bed as he sobbed. His sobs were the sounds of desperation, desperation for love, desperation for approval from May, desperation to love her but he just cant. Peter was trying to smother his cries to not bother May, not wanting her piercing glares as he felt his heart sink.

Peters stomach flopped uncomfortably as he felt his body producing more tears. Peter just wants May to say she loves him, to say goodnight, to praise him but she wont. Peter cant remember the last time May didn’t glare at him.

But at the same time Peter doesn’t want her approval, her praise, her ‘Love you’ nothing. She won’t say it now, why would she in the future? Peter wants to scream, cry, yell at her for not loving him, not seeing how she was affecting him. He just wants to leave her and not look back, to leave her life.

He wants to leave to the Avengers, because he knows that they will give him love. They will praise him, prank him, cry with him, worry about him, be angry with him, criticize him, and most importantly love him. He knows he will get the parental love from them that May refuses to give him.

Peters sobs quieted down, but his thoughts didn’t. They swarmed his mind like a back of wolves jumping on to a deer. They whispered reasons why May didn’t love him.

‘She doesn’t love you because your worthless’

‘Because your stupid’

‘Because you won’t amount to anything’

‘She hates you’

‘She won’t ever love you’

‘It won’t get better’

‘because’

‘Because’

‘BECAUSE!’

Ping!

Peters head snapped up from its position and saw that his phones screen lit up with messages. He slowly stood up, he stumbled a bit due to sitting in one position for hours. He walked over to his desk and picked up his phone. The phones light luminated Peters tears stained face, his eyes were red rimmed, his cheeks red and his hair was a mess.

It was messages from the Avengers group chat saying goodnight to him. They read like.

‘Goodnight kid, love ya’

‘Night kid’

‘Goodnight Pete’

‘Time to sleep Petey’

‘Sleep well Peter’

‘Night underroos'

‘Peter I hope your in bed’

‘Goodnight science buddy!’

“We love you Peter, goodnight’

A small smile slipped onto Peters tear blotched face.

‘It does get better’

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at like 3am so its horrible


End file.
